my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
