Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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