Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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