I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
there was a trapeze. enough said
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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