Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize