I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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