yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
