wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
