haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
