sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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