"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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