I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
