There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Can't talk, ducks in the car
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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