i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
