She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I party with great urgency now.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
