Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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