dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
