I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
