Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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