Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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