she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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