Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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