Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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