butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
barbara walters just said penis...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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