She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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