I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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