please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
