I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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