the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
