I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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