you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
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He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
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Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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