You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
