Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
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Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
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Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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