after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
