he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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