Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize