She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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