Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
