just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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