omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
