After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
