i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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