Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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