i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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