You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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