She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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