they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
