Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
