I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
