you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
