What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
