honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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