I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Still dying that you shit outside
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
