at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
