im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
