He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
