he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
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The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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