There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
