problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
