Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
