dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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